Hairpin Trigger
The day starts out well. As the morning goes you start to feel a little bit more behind. By the time you hit lunch you realize you have only had a coffee to drink and no food yet. The Hangry starts to kick in, so you grab some cold leftover chicken nuggets and stuff them into your mouth while you try to get the kids to have some quiet time (or if heaven allows an actual nap).
The kids are in their room, you make a coffee, grab your book and sit down on the couch for a second. While sipping on your coffee you grab your phone and scroll IG for a second, just to catch up on what your friends are doing. Damn, how do they always look so well put together and you feel like a mess, not even a hot mess, just a mess. Ok time to put down the phone. You wanted this quiet time to be a relaxing oasis for yourself for a minute. You grab your book and snuggle up in the blanket.
Tick Tick Tick Tick… Thump Thump Thump… “Mom…” WTF! “YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE IN BED, GET TO BED!” “I need some water”. Ugh. You grab a small glass of water and usher them back upstairs with a little kiss on the forehead. I shouldn’t be so reactive you think to yourself. Back to your book and coffee. UGH!!! Now the little one is crying out for you from their room. You just want a break. You deserve a break. You unintendedly storm upstairs, swing open the bedroom door and louder than you would like “WHAT?! What do you want now?” They look at you with those incredible eyes and your heart sinks. They just wanted a hug. Cue incredible Mom Guilt.
This is such a hard cycle mama. You try to be so calm and patient and just want to love on your kids. But you also want things to go as you had roughly planned in your head for the day. You were just needing a few quiet minutes alone to read your book and drink your coffee. You didn’t even get a chance for a proper lunch let alone breakfast this morning. You have been tending to their every need, played with them all morning at the park, and now here you are losing your shit over a hug or glass of water.
How did we get here? I say we, because I am replaying this story from personal experience (far too many times). I too have had a hair pin trigger and spontaneously combusted upon the quietest mention of my name. None of us want to be here. We don’t want to unleash the rage onto our sweet kids. But it comes out of nowhere and hits us like a ton of bricks.
The problem isn’t that you are a raging bitch. The problem is all of the layers and piles of stuff you are carrying around every day. The weight is unbearable! And you don’t ask for much in return, but a few quiet moments to yourself would be bliss. Just a chance to off load everything for a moment, to check back in with yourself and have some stillness.
I see you mama! I know how hard the guilt is. I know how long you go without proper meals, a shower, or alone time just so your kids can have what they need. I also see how burnt out you are. How it is affecting your whole world, Mind, Body & Soul! But where to start? How do you dig yourself out of this? You ask for help. You reach out and let your village of mamas help carry the weight, help lighten your load, and walk you through the steps. It starts with a chat. Let’s book a time to chat and see where you need the most help right now.